Saturday, March 19, 2011

"What do I want to be?"

Well I'd like to be nun, I always did, that or the benign President for Life of some small Republic in the South Pacific. I'd be very hands on. I'd deliver the mail, and drive the ice cream truck.

I think I'd have a tv show too where I'd do puppet shows run old Max Fleischer cartoons chat with my shrink, and take calls from my adoring citizens.

Also our gleeful little Republic would be a refuge from persecution to anyone that could get there,...sort of like the U.S. of A. was supposed to be., gangsters war criminals, and assorted hoodlums will be tossed back to the sharks. We're nice, but not stupid.

I think I'd wear some sort'a crown too, but that's as far as I'd take the imperial presidential drag. Okay maybe those weird Aladdin shoes that curl up at the ends. ...but that's it.

I'd have a Presidential Toy store as well.

Every Christmas, and Chanuka all the stuff would be free. There'd be complimentary spiked eggnog too.

That's our flag up there.

Btw I'd work a secret deal with them space alien flying saucer guys. This to keep America or it's client states from bombing the crap out of us.

As for being a nun,..well. I admit I don't have my girlish figure anymore nor do I really buy any of their nutty cosmology. Still having been mostly raised by these maniacs well you see what I mean.

It's beyond explaining.

Stay Tuned.

(Our National Anthem.)

1 comment:

Zaek said...

I'm applying for citizenship right now. I'll watch your puppet show every day and call in for ice cream (my favorite flavors are coffee and mint chip).

We can build a Mithraeum and a Temple of Eros, and a garden amphitheatre on the handiest local mountainside, where we'll hold dance festivals.

Rather than put our trust in space aliens, I suggest we protect our idyllic refuge with a synchronicity barrier. This is a magic shield that causes the ill-intentioned to forget what they had in mind and become unexpectedly distracted by some other more desirable objective. Usually they wind up turning around. Those most doggedly malicious tend to have unfortunate experiences: their boat sinks, their airplane hits a freak tornado, etc. Just by coincidence of course.