Sunday, March 20, 2011

"Forward into the Past!"



'Wish I could afford one of them new Dell or Sony time machines they got these days. Turns out there's an infinite number of alternate Earths all more or less the same as this so you go back into 'their' history mess around all ya like, and 'our' time stream is fine. None of the weird muddying of events.


You can go to Woodstock, Stonewall or opening day at Disneyland screw around , and not mess it up,...at least for us. Gawd know how ya frying the other guy's history. If the Time Cops don't catch ya you're fine.

Anyway I'd go to 1959, and have a ball. Everything is 80% cheaper. So you can live like a plutocrat for a few bucks. Btw be real frigg'n careful to exchange ya cash before ya go. Ya don't wanna go back with dough that sez 2011 on it.

Eh ya might get vaporized,...slowly, by that 40th century Time Police I mentioned. They're always nosing about. So watch it with the 21st century artifacts, and try not to shoot Elvis.

Other than that when I go back I'd get a '59 Mercury Land Cruiser, see above, and hit the brand new interstates for adventure plaid sox drive-in flicks the Brooklyn Dodgers, and priceless, in our time, $0.10 cent comic books!

I'd get laid a lot too in that pre-AIDS, and generally non-toxic era.

Sure there'd be radiation from all them stupid bomb tests them lunatics was doing, but there's radiation now from all them melt downs,..I'd say they cancel each other out.

Ahh, the glorious demented closeted murderous segregated cold war hysteria 1950's in gawds country!

Compared to the End-of-Empire crap we got now it's Paradise!





The one possible good thing about Segregation is that I didn't grow up in these bizarre suburbs. The city sucked, but at least it was human.

4 comments:

Zaek said...

I'll see you in 1967.

Bye bye Brave new World!

Uncle 2012 said...

I might go to 9/11 stand in front of the towers at 8:00am with a giant sign saying "Don't go in!!!"

That, and huge poster sized images of the towers burning along with videos of the collapse.

Even New Yorkers 'might' pay attention to all this.

Then I'd go to my high school in 1968, and slug the principle.

He thought the Viet-Nam was was swell, and supported the draft,..tho' he was too old to go,...the bastard!

Zaek said...

Well I'll be attending the Human Be-In and every Acid Test I can get to, and every free rock concert too. Oh - and getting laid, of course!

If it comes to changing history, maybe some new wonder drug I can take with me could trigger Reagan's Alzheimer's before 1979.

Uncle 2012 said...

Eh, I think he had already beaten you to it by then.