Friday, March 4, 2011

"The Great Cat Question"

So do I get a cat or not. I've been going over this for a few years. On at least two deleted blogs too. My pals are getting fed up with my static on this. "Get the damned cat already!!" They say.

Not so fast.

Vet bills, smelly cat box, food, affection, and assorted mind games, and guilt trips. All this, and more comes with katz. Also I'll have to get two so they'll stay sane.

What if they hate each other or are possessed by spirits or infested with bugs, and or worms. This is worse than getting married.

'But I still want a cat.

Why can't life be simple, and inexpensive?

There ya has it. Cats in all their mysterious splendor.

...I could get cable instead.


Sion said...

Dear Sidney,

Having heard your tale of tribulation regarding your parrot, I hesitate to recommend a cat.
Have you considered a stick insect? Stick insects are low maintenance pets, make no noise, no bad smells, survive on air, water, and the occasional blade of grass, and have never been known to savage the occupants of a studio apartment.

I think you would be safe with a stick insect. If you don't mind the risk of crowding you might even go for two.

Mike S said...

Have you seen this?

"DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around
their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the
top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
reason, I was the captive chosen for the water torture. This time,however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the small piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I
was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and that they may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue(something akin
to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Author Unknown

Uncle 2012 said...

I 'knew' the little fur balls was up to something.

Uncle 2012 said...

That insect thing has possibilities. Can they do tricks, ya know pretend they're chop sticks or pencils?