"Secret Sweeper"

(Above is me enjoying iced tea after sweeping the sidewalk.)

The NYC, aka, the Emerald City is a dirty town. No way around that. This being the case, and being raised by my Mommy to always be tidy. I've taken to sweeping my sidewalk in the middle of the night.

Actually I didn't even realize how unusual this was till my landlord in brought it up. Yeah I'm blessed with a human landlord. Odd that. Anyway it got back to him what I was up to, and he wanted to know why.

I just said it "looked nicer clean" is all.

Sort of like my insanely tidy digs. Btw, as I asked once. Is it a city ordinance violation to have your apartment too clean?

Probably.

Anyway "Mr. X", I hide my pal's name because I'm certain it's against the law to be a humane landlord. "X" said I didn't have to do that, and so on. I say I know, but couldn't help it.

My sense of the universe is violated when I see trash,..especially when it's near my space. Maybe it's because I'm Queer or was a Mama's boy. I just find nothing endearing about filth.

Unlike most guys I know.

However I will admit I put kitchen trash in the freezer till I toss it out. This to discourage the gigantic water bugs that rule the city. Mind I've only seen a few in my time in my new home.

However!

Just last night I came home, and I saw a freaking "Roachasaurus" in my bathroom. ...they come up the drain. The bastard was the size of a rat! I got into an actual fist fight with the guy.

I'm not kidding!

There he was walking along the rim of 'my' tub. The tub I bathe in dammit! The arrogant palmetto bleeping bug was giving me the business in my own digs.

I was swatting at'em for all I'm worth! Shit!! He got away. He zapped down the drain from whence he, and his slimy kin came.

Needless to say I keep all the plugs tightly sealed now.

Yuck!