"Once upon a time"
Peter Rabbit was drafted into "Farmland Security" against his will. His sargent was a raccoon with a serious pine cone habit. He was mean had bad breath, and yelled at poor Peter all the time.
There was also an ugly rumor of sexual abuse.
The food was bad, and the other bunnies were disturbed special education dropouts that beat him up, and stole his carrots which his mommy had sent him.
Oh, but Peter was still the sweet bunny that everyone knew, and loved.
Well okay he did shoot farmer McGregor,...and his family, but you must admit that lot had it coming.
The McGregor farm massacre, and all his random shootings did make him a little sad. However Peter, though heavily armed 'was' after all just rabbit. So he forgot most of what he'd done.
Well after several mindless bloodbaths our hero hopped home to his Mama, and all his friends for a nice supper of cabbage stew.
"Anything interesting happen on your way home from Farmland Service Peter?"
Asked Mama rabbit giving all of her sweet babies second helpings of carrot pie.
"Um, no Mama",...said Peter.
"Well other that blasting that fucking redneck McGregor to bloody shreds, and jelly,..no."
"Good said Mama Bunny" "That rancid turd killed your Papa, ate'em too"
"You did right son!"
"Thank you Mama", said Peter.
The End.
2 comments:
shit. I always suspected bunnies were bad, but I never realized the extent of their capabilities.
Why on earth did we give them weapons in the first place?
It's blow back from that Bunny Cold War mess under Carter.
The C.I.A. was doing black ops all over the "Fairyland Peoples Republic" to prop up the Easter Bunny.
After the coup when Bugs Bunny, and his anarchist crowd took the palace all hell broke loose!
Now there's a 16 sided Bunny civil war going on.
Think Beirut in '75.
I tell ya it's bad, and getting worse.
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