Tuesday, December 23, 2008

"Your Papers Please!"















Hi gang! Season's greetings, and in that Spirit I just found out how to be more traumatized than I already am.

If you're bored have nothing interesting to do, and would like to have a seriously Kafaesque nightmare try getting a new state I.D.Card.

Turns out in our post 9/11, anti-immigrant era you need at least, ...they'd really like more, at least six,..(6!), items of identification, three w/picture of you, and an original birth certificate.

...plus two references.

Well as for the last part I have a cousin that won the Pulitzer Prize a while ago, and a childhood friend that's a judge. These they found acceptable.

Barely.

The way the apparatchik behind the five inch thick bullet proof plexiglass gave me da "hairy eyeball" I actually thought they wouldn't.

As for some of the other stuff I was criminally lacking. I thought I was going to be arrested. These are 'Not' nice people.

This was a anxiety ridden frigg'n nightmare.

It's not so much finding the paper work I need. Through being phobic about official documents doesn't help me just now. It's the off handed mean spiritedness of the process.

Your life, and safety are at stake, and their cheering for the lions.

I took a picture of myself, among other things, after my ordeal with these evil bi-peds,...scary. I look like one of them guys they pull out of a train wreck or plane crash. I'm keeping that snapshot for my book on being homeless.

I'm not posting it here.

It's actually shocking. Maybe it's the ongoing traumatic anxiety of my current adventures. Well that, and my slow movement through the bowels of the "System",...eckkk.

I will survive these terrible times.

Not only survive, but will have a home, and garden by spring,...summer the latest.

Stay Tuned.

2 comments:

Fida said...

Sorry for laughing - but it's your fault (again..., though I don't arrest you), you write so darn funny about such a nightmarish experience, I couldn't contain myself. Anyway, did you finally get your papers?

Uncle Sidney said...

Hi Frida, love ya stuff btw. Folks go over to Fida's link. I call it "Canada Exposed".

That's not the real name of her page, but so what go anyway.

Hey Frida thanks for dropping by!

Yeah being a new member of the Middle Class Homeless is hilarious!

It's so much fun I often roll around on the floor laffing.

Humm, well yeah I been doing that for years anyway, but still.

As for my dreaded "Papers",...no.

Bastards.

However on the bright side I figured out how to get free soda out of their Coke machine, and made a good contact for our News Dept.

Com'on a good reporter is always on duty.

The other bright side is that after some hours of blinding agony at that hell hole of officialdom.

I managed to figure what paper work I need to get the paperwork I need.

If ya follows me here.

Anyhow Happy Holidaze Comrad!