Tuesday, December 30, 2008

"Homeless Dolls"

Hi gang. Things are going a bit better for me,..in a way. I've managed to dig up most of the paperwork to complete my Kafkaesque identification, and banking problems. Once I get access to my dough I can seriously set about getting a place for my dolls to live.

Well okay I'll be sleeping there too.

I'll keep you posted on my ongoing nightmare of part time homelessness, and general befuddlement at having survived into the early 21st century. Shouldn't I have a rocket belt or be wearing aluminum underwear by now or something?

Well that or have a radio/tv welded into my head.

I'm thinking of doing one of them feed the oppressed infomercials,...for me.

Let's see,...

This is little Uncle Sydney he was wrongfully deprived of his ancestrial manor by usurpers, corrupt family conciglieri and assorted scalliwags.

Unless you help 'right now' he'll have to go to bed tonight without a whiskey'n soda. Perhaps without even a vodka martini.

Goes without saying he's kissing goodbye any chance for a Quiche Lorraine, Braised Halibut Provencal, Chicken a la Diable or for heaven sakes even that crappy Cognac Shrimp with Beurre Blanc Sauce! ...smells weird.

His accounts frozen, his 1934 hand made Bugatti impounded at the border, his coveted box top collection ransacked, and scattered. Poor Uncle forced to roam the mean streets of the financial district where not even the falafel vendors would give him credit.

Oh how the mighty have fallen!

Our dear Uncle can't even keep up with the current episodes of "Lost", "Heros" or which one of them swell gals on the Weather Channel is pregnant this time!

You, and only you can save our dear Uncle from this living hell of the American downsized nightmare.

Please call 800-000-000-000, and make a generous donation to the rehabilitation of a man of the people. ...and remember you'll not only be saving a lovable middleaged homosexual, but his perverse doll collection as well.

Please give today.


Fida said...

You just scared the hell out of me. My microphone was all the way open when I hit that play button
I really hope your nightmare will be over soon!

Uncle Sidney said...


My crappy camera again.

Btw the video was shot at that giant Toys 'R Us in Times Square.

Crying babies, and kiddies for miles!

What the hell were they thinking?!

I can see the meeting now,...

"Lets put a giant fucking T-Rex,..that btw screams like the real frigg'n thing where all the babies go."

"Oh yeah that'll make'em smile, just think of the return business!"

Meanwhile 5000 screaming kids in assorts states of trauma shit'n piss in every direction!

What fun, and Merry Christmas!