Thursday, October 8, 2009

"Why Can't Life be like a Movie?"

Maybe I should clarify.

Why can't I be in a 'happy' movie. Most of what ya gets these daze is either stupid or evil. Zombie, vampire mailmen that suck your brains out,...through your eye sockets. That or surreal love stories about rich drones that fuck alot, and drive 1938 Bugatti's.

Nah, I wanna live in one of them hopeful Capra fantasies. The kind where some good hearted yokels go through some contrived hooie, but in the end all's well.

I want to be the crusading teacher, pastor, or reporter. There's always one'a these swell guys in the script. Always fight'n for the innocent!

Usually some old guy is losing his farm or a bunch of cute depression era kids are about to be dumped into an evil orphanage.

The farmer might go to the glue factory, and the kids could get sodomized, flogged, and generally bleeped to hell'n back.

Somewhere in all this I gets to make this passionate speech, or sermon or editorial. This usually saves everybody, and I get the girl or boy in the end.

Yeah okay Capra never did gay stuff,..that we know of, but you get the picture.

In the final scene gramps is on his farm knee deep in pig shit, and the kids are back on the block stealing stuff, and breaking windows.

'All happy as junkies that stumbles onto 50 kilos of China White. (...uncut.)

The music swells, and the credits roll.

What could be better. That, and no one has to see the messy contradictions of the film's characters getting on with everyday life after the lights come up.

This is why we love movies so much, and why I wants to live in one.

The dream world that these flickering phantoms live in. Their universe, their eternity is one that has never, 'never' had a backed up toilet or stubbed toe.

Wow! Great scene, bless'em!


CatLadyLarew said...

I hate movies where the main character ends up dead... that's just wrong! I wonder what Frank Capra would do with Zombies.

Uncle 2012 said...

Me too. I mean what's the point of watching in the first place if the lead gets eaten by the giant bug, and all the other jerks get to hang around.

It's like Ringo living now to drunken old age while John get shot down in his prime.

As for Capra, and Zombies I'm sure he'd pull it off somehow.

He probably have a heroic catholic priest or nun in there somewhere. A lost child, and or dog.

The usual cast of corrupt judges, and cops. Also some sort of Heavenly intervention at the end. This so we can all go home reassured, and happy.

Dimitri Tiomkin would do the score. Something sweeping like he did for "Lost Horizon"

Eh, he have eyeball sucking, and brain eating off camera.