Saturday, January 23, 2010
"Me my Dad our Buick, and the Faeries"
Well there I was in bed with a flu, cold, cough, fever monster thing!" It's almost like being stoned. Everything is sort of sideways, and different colors. I'd be enjoying this if I wasn't so sick.
Anyway being in this frame of mind I naturally thought about my wee pals the faeries. City faeries are neat, but you have to be quick to spot them. This is a tough town, and faerie or not you have to be fast to get over.
As I mentioned in one of my other story's city faeries are attracted to neon lights. It's not unusual in summer to see faeries around brightly lit pizza, and ice cream stands. They also like the ruby red of tail lights. In fact that's how I saw one of my first faerie's.
This happened a few thousand years ago when America was fat happy'n on the make. Heck my dad was a baker, and he got us a nice house, car, and tv. On a bakers salary!
We'll 'never' see times like 'that' again.
Aw well, one night in this long ago gleeful time I was sitting next to my dad on the front seat of our new Buick.
A 1958 sky blue, and white two tone. Detroit knew what it was doing in them days.
Anyway as is the habit of kids on long car rides I was squinting my eyes to make the passing street lights look weird. I had just begun to do the same with the tail lights ahead of us when I see something odd.
"Wow that's a big bug!" I thought.
Only when I stopped squinting it wasn't. A bug that is. It wasn't tinker bell either.
Ya'know whole generations of rubes got really bogus ideas of what faeries look like 'cause of all the Disney propaganda. Thing is faerie's is just like folks. Just alot smaller,..with wings,..and feelers, weird colors, sometimes extra arms'n stuff, magical powers, halos, and eh...
Well okay faerie's ain't like folks at all, but so what.
So there I am sitting next to the old man as we're roll'n through Queens, and there's these little faerie guys darting around the tail lights of the Oldsmobile in front of us.
Hey, com'on ya can't make this stuff up.
Now ya'see by this time I'm an 'experienced' kid, and know 'better' than to tell my dad that I'm seeing tiny bug people on the ass-end of the car he's tailgating.
Hey gimme some credit. I still remember the penance I had to do for one of my previous visions.
I foolishly told my folks that I saw flaming bat winged hog demons flying out of an open manhole on Flatbush Avenue. My mom made me kneel on a steel rod while I said the rosary ten times over for being in league with Satan.
Heck I never even met the guy.
Sooo, I keeps my young trap shut, and enjoys the doing's of the wee folk in front of us. If dad saw anything he wasn't about to tell me. He knew better too.
Still they was fun to watch, and they meant no harm.
Not like that hairy sky-monster-thing. Ya know the one on that famous "Twilight Zone" episode w/the pre-"Trek" Shantner.
(Click on this illustration for effect.)
The furry bastard, not Shantner, just floats in the air chasing after airplanes. When he catches one he rips their engines apart so they crash. Remember that one? Over forty years later, and it still scares the crap out'a me!
Rod you're the Man!
"Yes all very interesting" you say, "but Uncle Sidney what the hell are you getting at with all this?"
Ah, I'm glad you asked!
See what with Spring, and the warmer weather not long off we has to prepare for "Faerie Time!"
"...the 'fuck'?" you say.
Hear me out.
As we know from traditions handed down from kid, to kid. Like the varied rules of stick ball or ring-a-leave-vee-oh!, or ring something. The name morphs from block to block, but you know what I mean.
Like "Ring Around the Rosy" passed from child to child for nearly a thousand years. The knowledge of "Faerie Time" has come to the 21st century.
Come June at midnight on that Longest Day "Faeriedom" awakes.
That queer bunch opens their eyes, and begins their summer frolics! Which is to say it's their mating, and general screwing around w/humanity season.
One thing tho' don't mess with'em. Don't be bamboozling or ripping these guys off. They may be cute,..some of them, but they has sharp teeth, and heartless lawyers.
...get da picture?
Otherwise we're all welcome to dance the summer away with them. That business about them abducting folks for years is crap told by the Church, Disney, and the CIA.
..them Hell Demons on the other hand.
'Word to da wise,..stay clear of those bastards.
How long has this been going on? "Faerie Time" No one knows. Rule of thumbs sez they showed up somewhere between Eve, and Babylon.
"The iron tongue of midnight
hath told twelve; lovers to bed;
'tis almost fairy time."
(Francis Bacon, and or Shakespeare)
Legends, real history, are full of traces about faeries" and their weird goings on. That Shakespeare/Bacon play kind'a got some of it right, but they mixed it up with all their class, and culture bullshit of the times.
I guess we all do that in a way.
But "Faerie Time" is real. My older cousins told me, and I told my special friends at school, and they told their friends, and so, and so, and so through the years, and ages to come.
An unbroken tradition from kid to kid. Like learning how to jerk off or shoplift.
When I was little I danced in a faerie circle with the sweet wee folk by the light of a full moon in Prospect Park.
Then again on a warm steamy night in Central Park when I was a happily crazed'n horny teenager. Now in my demented pissed off late middle years I still hear their songs.
Bless the little fuckers!