Well there I was minding my own damned business as we all should. When out'a nowhere gawd sent tornado's to blow the hell out of us,..so to speak. The Emerald City, aka New York experienced several twisters, and near twisters late in the afternoon.
Imagine my surprise as I was awakened from my medicated stupor by my windows rattling like crazy, and the afternoon sky black as the hearts in the Republican party.
What the fuck,...sez I as the building shudders, debris fly's by my brittle, darkened windows, and the terrified talking head on tv goes bug eyed, and generally induces mass panic by saying we're under attack by gawd's vengeance against secular humanist sodomite loving, left of center New York!
See video!
No that wasn't me,..I have nicer digs. However you gets the picture. Tornado's are becoming more regular in this part of the country thanks to planetary heating warming the oceans, and seriously screwing up the winds.
I've read that London is starting to have the same problem. You guys may be using your tube stations for a different sort of Blitz soon. Watch ya backs comrades.
On the up side gawd favored my block again as there was no serious damage, other than folks wetting themselves, and branches in the street. Also my floors got wet as rain shot horizontally through the portals my cute hovel.
Me I was in the closet. Just like old times,..ahem. No not that one I mean the hallway closet riding out this latest end of the world.
They say out in California one should stand in your doorway in an earthquake. ??? Out in the mid-western tornado alleys they say get into your bathroom, and lay down in your tub.
That at least makes a bit more sense than that doorway thing. The Emerald City doesn't have a safety tradition for extreme weather yet. Usually when shit happens we ignore it, and go about our business. Blizzards, hurricanes, tremors? Bleep it I'm busy.
I think this tornado this is finally something we may have to pay attention to. I mean what with these things able to pick up houses, cars truck, buses, and even trains, and hurl them sometimes for miles.
Yep, I'm impressed.
So comrades time to consider how to live your life on a 'slightly' more hostile planet. I mean wow this was 'worse' than being on a stalled "D" train in the Bronx, that, and almost as bad as the prices for tickets at the new Yankee Stadium,...greedy bastards.
(Folks in Montana watching tornado in their backyard.)
(..they seemed real calm about the whole deal.)
2 comments:
Out in the Midwest, where I came from, we had a long and vicious tornado season. In school the drill was the same as the nuclear attack drill: when the alarm sounded you moved in an orderly fashion from the classroom to the corridor, sat with your back to the wall, raised your knees, bent forward and placed your head between then, covering the back of your head with your crossed arms, and waited silently for the tornado/attack or the all clear signal. Not, as we realised later, that this exercise would have helped save your life in either eventuality, but as we later joked you were in a position to kiss your ass good-by.
I went to university in the mid-west. This is when I saw my first tornado.
It was amazing!
Fortunately it was headed away from our campus in Yellow Springs, Ohio.
Sadly the next year another came busting through, and destroyed Xenia a nearby town.
It also damaged many of the university buildings.
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