Saturday, September 18, 2010

"New Money"

These are some proposed new bank notes for our land of the free.

Assuming the 20%+ of unemployed Americans ever get jobs again this is what their dough may look like. We're almost 100 years overdue for a major overhaul of our currency. There's all sorts of noises that we'll finally get one soon.

The "Teabaggers" want Ronny Reagan on the $50. dollar bill. Many would love to see Joe Lewis, aka the "Brown Bomber" on the new $25. bill. The Feds are also thinking of issuing a $200. bank note as well. Makes sense what with prices being what they are.

I'd like to see Chief "Crazy Horse" on that one. ($200. dollar bill) He's already on stamps, and his great mountain memorial will soon rival Mount Rushmore.

They're already changing the coins. The nickles, and quarters regularly change with regional symbols.

They keep trying out dollar coins, but they suck. No one likes them because they're small, and always bland. ...also the 'phony' gold plating wears off too fast.

Unattractive, and or boring small dollar coins confront folks with proof that the dough is nearly worthless. They already know this, but would rather not have it rubbed in their faces.

There must be a way of abolishing this whole ancient, and evil wealth/poverty/money cycle. After all those anarcho/socialist/space guys on "Star Trek",tm, seem to have pulled off that trick okay.

I mean I've watched every episode, and all the movies. Even number five which got boos from a Trekkie audience. Heck they even threw stuff at the screen it was so bad,...but they stayed for the whole movie. did I. Even stood in the damned snow waiting to get in!

That's loyalty.

Trekkers can put up with almost any sort of dreary shit from the writers,...except for Start Trek Five,...don't get me started.

("Star Trek V",...good grief had these guys no shame!)

Anyway these future space folks never had a Galactic Depression. I never saw homeless Vulcan's, or garbage on the streets of Indus V. No dog shit in front of Star Fleet Headquarters neither. Sure dogs might be extinct by then, but you gets the point.


Zaek said...

It's the new look for funny money.

What cool and innovative designs for the Incredible Shrinking Dollar! With a big bulging wad of those nifty contempo Ben Franklins, the few Americans still lucky enough to have jobs a couple of years from now might even be able to afford a cup of coffee.

If Amelia's on the two dollar bill, what are the chances they'll devote a three dollar bill to Harry Hay?

Uncle 2012 said...

Dear Harry on the $3., cool with me!

The way things are going I'll be lucky to have a few Amelia's, and Harry's in my pockets.

Zaek said...

P.S. - We're not getting Star Trek. What we'll get is an agonizing decline to so-called "third world" nationhood: not a smooth swift drop, but a slow agonizing ride down a long bumpy stairway on our ass. At the bottom will be no Star Fleet HQ, but plenty of dog shit. That's how it happened for the Mayans and the Romans, and that's how it'll be for us: and for similar reasons.

But as things break apart we may yet get a chance to push some things our way. So I still say we should agitate for the Harry Hay 3-dollar bill.

Zaek said...

Yeah, I've been cultivating an acquaintance with Abe Lincoln for quite some time. He's a great guy, but still... Those things aren't even made out of copper any more. It's too valuable.

graymogul said...

How about Harvey Milk on the $3-bill?
For several years, I've argued in favor of Hillary Clinton being on the golden dollar, because we could nickname the coin "the Hillary" just as our Canadian cousins nicknamed their golden dollar "the Loony," which has a loon on the reverse side. Hillary on a dollar would be appropriate, because the coin would be like her: small and brassy.
How about a bunch of Rockefellers on the $500-note, e.g., John D.; David, the banker; Nelson, the pol; and John D., Jr., who built Rockefeller Center? $500 is a good plutocratic number.
How about Wayne Gretzky and Manny Ramirez on a 99-cent coin. Both ahtletes wore number 99 on their jerseys.
The treasury might actually generate some profits by making a coin or note for every number between 1 and 500, because collectors would pay premiums to obtain such coins and notes.
Of course, Barry Bonds' and Roger Clemens' numbers might not be appropriate to use on coins or notes due to the steroid controversy. But both men could be featured on savings bonds which pay the holder more money than the bond cost, but the purchasing power of the payoff is often reduced by inflation over the term of the bonds. In other words, sort of like Barry and Roger's disappointingly inflated numbers.