Well imagine my surprise when I came to Wbai radio for my engineering shift, and I found XMAS Mail waiting for me.
Cards from my dear listeners, junk mail, a missive from my former lawyer that expensive lying bleep, and a letter, plus check for a bunch of dough from a pal.
I could'a seriously used that scratch back then!
This was when I was houseless, and wandering the cruel stinky gutters with tears frozen on my rosy cheeks.
No! not them cheeks,...pervert!
(Bobo the Easter Bunny's alcoholic, drug addict, communist, pedophile terrorist cousin,...so of course he has a show on Wbai. Anyway our hero here takes the evidence to the Wbai forensics lab for further examination.)
Mind you this bundle of joy wasn't from the post office. Ya know how they do when they royally fuck up.
They puts your wrecked parcel in this fancy blue package which sez how real sorry they was that they screwed you so bad.
Sure, and 1903 gold dollars fly out of my butt everyday at noon.
The post office is about as sincere as a crack whore when the welfare check's are three weeks away. Them gumbas will tell ya anything.
So where the hell did all this come from. Who **&&^%! at the station has been screwing around with my mail.
..and should I care.
To be continued!
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