Peter Rabbit was drafted into "Farmland Security" against his will. His sargent, a raccoon with a serious pine cone habit, was mean, and yelled all the time at poor Peter.
There was also an ugly rumor of sexual abuse as well.
The food was bad, and the other bunnies in his unit were emotionally distured special education dropouts that beat him up, and stole his carrots that his mommy sent to him special.
Oh, but Peter was still the sweet bunny that his Mommy, and friends knew him to really be.
Well okay he did shoot farmer McGregor, and his family, but you must admit that lot had it coming.
Also all the random shooting around the farm, and the unfortunate unintended casulties did make him a little sad. However Peter 'was' after all a rabbit,..though heavily armed, so he forgot most of what he'd done.
He peacefully hopped home to his Mama, and all his friends, and had a nice cabbage stew.
"Anything interesting happen on your way home from farmland national service Peter?"
Asked Mama rabbit giving all of her little sweet hearts second helpings of carrot pie.
"Um, no Mama",...said Peter.
"Well other that blowing that evil redneck, shit kicker McGregor to shredds, and jelly,..no"
"Good said Mama bunny" "That rancid turd killed your Papa, ate'em too"
The End.
(Btw,...Happy birthday Beatrix Potter!)
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