My Struggle . Alone and sitting in the sun, stripped of all I thought I was, sitting, thinking, agonizing, knowing well how I have failed, and sometimes even want to fail. I close my eyes and look within, and ponder what it is I am, and what it is that I am called to be, and to what dark places I could fall, and will if I should yield, and what I want I do not want, and what I know I doubt, and I am tempted, drawn in many ways, desiring deeply things that may well kill, a soul, a spirit, a mind, and perhaps the flesh, and in an agony of wanting, I ... cry … an inner crying filled with pain, and, though I speak of Satan’s tempting power, it is myself I fight, myself I fight, as I rebel against the truth I know, and vainly strive to quench the drawing flames, to hold my feet from stepping past the edge, from falling into that consuming fire that I have kindled in my soul, to be burnt, to die. . And yet I know that I am not alone, that those who’ve lived and gone before, and watch with baited breath my strife, have lived the pain, have fought the fight, and fully know the struggles I endure; that David sinned and stole a wife, and killed a loving man, and knew the depths of blackness in his soul, and, mourning, neared despair; That Peter in his strutting, boasting pride, in fear denied his dying Lord; And many others fell to many things and yet … they took the hand of Him who loves, the One who, fasting in the desert, prayed, and heard the sugared voice of tempting sin, and refused, and went on, a friend to sinners such as I, and yet again, His greatest trial approaching, struggled to subdue His will, embraced the cross and held it out before me, and by His hand assists me, and I see the goal. . ----------ed pacht
Hope Eloise has enough money for good private health insurance, now that her Hero is giving up the fight for fundamental health care reform in favour of the same ole same ole with some paper doilies around the edge. One more promise down the drain.
Isn't it feasible to suppress the attack posts alone rather than penalize everyone?
If Obama's spineless capitulation means what I think it means, then even the poverty-stricken such as yours truly will be FORCED to buy private insurance from those toxic tapeworms in the insurance industry. It wouldn't surprise me if millions wound up being fined, dunned by collections agencies, and having wages garnered with 80 percent compound interest, all for for disservices by HMOs who have a history of amputating the wrong leg or leaving the sponge inside a closed incision.
I don't like to be a bummer, but I really think this country is fucked for good. From the ills that afflict it there can be no recovery. Its assets are being stripped beyond any possibility of recovery by the kleptocratic class. It's like the movie Titanic, everything moves in one direction only: down. Frankly at this point it's my impression the only interesting or potentially positive scenario would be the political disintegration of the country.
Reagan began the process of turning this into a "3rd world" country characterized by heavy class stratification and general impoverishment, with a reduction of all important indices of well being for the majority. Now the final phase of that process is well under way. It would take a constellation of miracles to reverse that, and this doesn't look like happening.
Personally I'd love to see a "back to the land" movement with hippies bringing organic faming communes en masse into the state parks that Schwarzenegger wants to close and (eventually, I suspect) sell off to the timber industry. Some such radical action would be a good thing.
7 comments:
My Struggle
.
Alone and sitting in the sun,
stripped of all I thought I was,
sitting, thinking, agonizing,
knowing well how I have failed,
and sometimes even want to fail.
I close my eyes and look within,
and ponder what it is I am,
and what it is that I am called to be,
and to what dark places I could fall,
and will if I should yield,
and what I want I do not want,
and what I know I doubt,
and I am tempted, drawn in many ways,
desiring deeply things that may well kill,
a soul, a spirit, a mind, and perhaps the flesh,
and in an agony of wanting, I ...
cry … an inner crying filled with pain,
and, though I speak of Satan’s tempting power,
it is myself I fight, myself I fight,
as I rebel against the truth I know,
and vainly strive to quench the drawing flames,
to hold my feet from stepping past the edge,
from falling into that consuming fire
that I have kindled in my soul,
to be burnt, to die.
.
And yet I know that I am not alone,
that those who’ve lived and gone before,
and watch with baited breath my strife,
have lived the pain, have fought the fight,
and fully know the struggles I endure;
that David sinned and stole a wife,
and killed a loving man, and knew
the depths of blackness in his soul,
and, mourning, neared despair;
That Peter in his strutting, boasting pride,
in fear denied his dying Lord;
And many others fell to many things and yet …
they took the hand of Him who loves,
the One who, fasting in the desert, prayed,
and heard the sugared voice of tempting sin,
and refused, and went on, a friend to sinners such as I,
and yet again, His greatest trial approaching,
struggled to subdue His will,
embraced the cross and held it out before me,
and by His hand assists me,
and I see the goal.
.
----------ed pacht
Hope Eloise has enough money for good private health insurance, now that her Hero is giving up the fight for fundamental health care reform in favour of the same ole same ole with some paper doilies around the edge. One more promise down the drain.
Yeah I know.
My ex-Hero is a fucking disappointment.
I can't believe what a useless jerk he's turned into.
The whole country, the whole damned world celebrated his election, and he turns out to be another Carter.
This bastard has broken alot of hearts,..including mine.
Btw one more attack comment, and we go back to comment moderation for good.
Isn't it feasible to suppress the attack posts alone rather than penalize everyone?
If Obama's spineless capitulation means what I think it means, then even the poverty-stricken such as yours truly will be FORCED to buy private insurance from those toxic tapeworms in the insurance industry. It wouldn't surprise me if millions wound up being fined, dunned by collections agencies, and having wages garnered with 80 percent compound interest, all for for disservices by HMOs who have a history of amputating the wrong leg or leaving the sponge inside a closed incision.
I don't like to be a bummer, but I really think this country is fucked for good. From the ills that afflict it there can be no recovery. Its assets are being stripped beyond any possibility of recovery by the kleptocratic class. It's like the movie Titanic, everything moves in one direction only: down. Frankly at this point it's my impression the only interesting or potentially positive scenario would be the political disintegration of the country.
Reagan began the process of turning this into a "3rd world" country characterized by heavy class stratification and general impoverishment, with a reduction of all important indices of well being for the majority. Now the final phase of that process is well under way. It would take a constellation of miracles to reverse that, and this doesn't look like happening.
Personally I'd love to see a "back to the land" movement with hippies bringing organic faming communes en masse into the state parks that Schwarzenegger wants to close and (eventually, I suspect) sell off to the timber industry. Some such radical action would be a good thing.
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