"Peter Rabbit in the Age of Terror"

I wrote this demented story last winter I think, and posted it somewhere in these pages. I thought I'd repost this because it gave me a cynical chuckle.

Gee I wish I had turned this in to Sister Mary Joe in composition class back in the day. 45 years later I'd probably 'still' be in detention.


"Once upon a time"

Peter Rabbit was drafted into "Farmland Security" against his will. His sargent was a raccoon with a serious pine cone habit. He was mean had bad breath, and yelled at poor Peter all the time.

There was also an ugly rumor of sexual abuse.

The food was bad, and the other bunnies were disturbed special education dropouts that beat him up, and stole his carrots which his mommy had sent him.

Oh, but Peter was still the sweet bunny that everyone knew, and loved.

Well okay he did shoot farmer McGregor,...and his family, but you must admit that lot had it coming.

The McGregor farm massacre, and all his random shootings did make him a little sad. However Peter, though heavily armed 'was' after all just rabbit. So he forgot most of what he'd done.

Well after several mindless bloodbaths our hero hopped home to his Mama, and all his friends for a nice supper of cabbage stew.

"Anything interesting happen on your way home from Farmland Service Peter?"

Asked Mama rabbit giving all of her sweet babies second helpings of carrot pie.

"Um, no Mama",...said Peter.

"Well other that blasting that fucking redneck McGregor to bloody shreds, and jelly,..no."

"Good said Mama Bunny" "That rancid turd killed your Papa, ate'em too"

"You did right son!"

"Thank you Mama", said Peter.

The End.

(Peter on Patrol)