...fuck this shit I want everything!
'And so little Peter unlimbered his Uzi and blasted Mr. McGregor into a such a bloody pulp that not even his wife or the vicar could identify him by sight, snarling, in a very unbunny-like manner, "Die, filthy human, for all the rabbit dinners your kind ever ate!" He decided he liked the way Mr. McGregor twitched as he fired into his corpse; he felt empowered! He turned and hopped down the path from the allotment, shouting "Bunny Liberation!" and "Cabbage for All! Bunnies of the World Unite, you have nothing to lose but your carrots!" In the street at the end of the path he encountered two traffic wardens, and blew them away too. And then he spotted the little boy who had let his dog chase him once....'
Actually,...Peter Rabbit was drafted into "Farmland Security" against his will. His sargent, a raccoon with a serious pine cone habit, was mean, and yelled all the time at poor Peter. There was also an ugly rumor of sexual abuse as well. The food was bad, and the other bunnies in his unit were emotionally distured special education dropouts that beat him up, and stole his carrots that his mommy sent to him special.Oh, but Peter was still the sweet bunny that his Mommy, and friends knew him to really be.Well okay he did shoot farmer McGregor, and his family, but you must admit that lot had it coming.Also all the random shooting around the farm, and the unfortunate unintended casulties did make him a little sad. However Peter 'was' after all a rabbit,..though heavily armed, so he forgot most of what he'd done.He peacefully hopped home to his Mama, and all his friends, and had a nice cabbage stew."Anything interesting happen on your way home from farmland national service Peter?"Asked Mama rabbit giving all of her little sweet hearts second helpings of carrot pie."Um, no Mama",...said Peter."Well other that blowing that evil redneck, shit kicker McGregor to shredds, and jelly,..no""Good said Mama bunny" "That rancid turd killed your Papa, ate'em too"The End.
Post a Comment