Thursday, July 31, 2008
Uncle Sidney,..above, examines his 358th birthday party cake. "Is it that time already",...sez a surprized Uncle wearing his trademark stuffed horsie costume. Well there was much singing, eating, and the smashing of windows, and mirrors!
A humid time was had by all!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Happy birthday you incompetent bastards. Yeah ya went to da moon, but the glory ended there. That was 40!,...four oh!, years ago. Since then you've been a dumping ground for unimaginative wonks, and bean counters.
How many more astronauts you gonna kill with that frigg'n 30 year old shuttle. We should have had two new generations of upgraded spaceplanes by now. However thanks to you, and your pals the republicans we're still in near earth orbit driving around in '56 Studebaker's.
Okay the robotic planetary explorations are cool, and Hubble,...which you want to dump into the sea is the best thing humanity has ever done,..no thanks to you.
So happy birthday you murdering rat bastards. I hope there's trials one day for all the shuttle crews you've killed.
I know there's no aliens on ice. Because if you had anything to do with it they'd have defrosted, and spoiled years ago. ...now that I think of it that's probably exactly what happened.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Peter Rabbit was drafted into "Farmland Security" against his will. His sargent, a raccoon with a serious pine cone habit, was mean, and yelled all the time at poor Peter.
There was also an ugly rumor of sexual abuse as well.
The food was bad, and the other bunnies in his unit were emotionally distured special education dropouts that beat him up, and stole his carrots that his mommy sent to him special.
Oh, but Peter was still the sweet bunny that his Mommy, and friends knew him to really be.
Well okay he did shoot farmer McGregor, and his family, but you must admit that lot had it coming.
Also all the random shooting around the farm, and the unfortunate unintended casulties did make him a little sad. However Peter 'was' after all a rabbit,..though heavily armed, so he forgot most of what he'd done.
He peacefully hopped home to his Mama, and all his friends, and had a nice cabbage stew.
"Anything interesting happen on your way home from farmland national service Peter?"
Asked Mama rabbit giving all of her little sweet hearts second helpings of carrot pie.
"Um, no Mama",...said Peter.
"Well other that blowing that evil redneck, shit kicker McGregor to shredds, and jelly,..no"
"Good said Mama bunny" "That rancid turd killed your Papa, ate'em too"
(Btw,...Happy birthday Beatrix Potter!)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
There was a short piece on the CBC news about Obama posters, and assorted election junk being burned by skin heads in Maryland. Also reports of this in other states as well.
Dumb, that stuff might be valuable collectors items one day. Gawd didn't invent ebay for her health ya know.
Anyhow they only folks pissed off at Obama are the extremes of the left, and right,..and yeah the old guard of the Civil Rights movement. The latter because if he's elected these seat warmers, bigots, and assorted old farts are out of a job.
As for them other gumba's Obama is their worst nightmare come true. For the nazi's it's the final evidence that this ain't a white mans country anymore. For pals of Fidel it vaporizes their whole humorless, heartless, stalinoid vision of revolution.
However for the rest of us that live check to check, and sleep on a friend's couch,...well. There may now be a sub-atomic particle of a chance for a life with dignity one day.
(Click on posters to enlarge them.)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Good grief! I'm not sure where, maybe that dumpling stall on Orchard street. Anyway I picked up a hell of a bug. Yeah heat, humidity, and standing food do not a good mix make.
"HOLD THE DUCK SAUCE!!"
Yep I was blasting from both ends for daze comrad's. Nothing like raw digestive acids firing out'a ya porthole's for 48 hours so so.
Please gawd make it stop! I'll do any shit ya wants. 100,000 hail Mary's while dressed as a nun in a see through habit, and knelling in lambs blood in Macy's window on Easter morning,...I'll do it!
...Just pleezze plug me up 'for every drop of liquid shoots out'a me like a Niagara frigg'n falls of raw sewage.
How fragile we are,..to be brought so low by a mere Dumpling.
(Beware,..this ain't pretty. It's funny, but not cute.)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
If it's not one thing it's another. 'Just had a bit of a surprize,...BOOM! As ya knows we're rebuilding our 3000 year old house. We thought we could do it on our own, but reality finally caught up with us.
So we have to flee our palace while contractors tear the crap out it. So I'm a refugee for the next year or so. I've always depended the the kindness of strangers. I think it'll be okay. Some pals have offered shelter from the storm.
Damn I wasn't expecting this. Still the house will be beautiful when it's re-done so it's worth it. Friends, and 'some' family is all we have. This is gonna be interesting.
Aw man! ...Stay frigg'n tuned.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Right so I'm going nuts, and to top it all I seemed to have had a 'minor' stroke. Or what they call stress induced spasms. Basically my right hand curled up. I called 911, and the EMT guys came to the house, and treated me.
Not a 'real' stroke the nice lady in the bullet proof vest said. I lacked "potassium" sez she. I was "severely dehydrated" said the chinese guy, and "over stressed" said da brother.
'Have you noticed how most New York "EMT" crews in Brooklyn seemed to have been ethnically balanced with a slide rule?
Anyway I guess all that heavy labor on my house during this endless heatwave did me in. I was happily stripping, and re-puttying the windows. Humm, maybe I should'a worn a hat. Working for hours in direct sunlight at this laditude can be fatal in the summer.
"Fatal",...yeah next time go with the hat.
I almost forgot. When last I had symptoms like these. Dry heaves, dizziness, headaches, my fingers curving in on themselves, tunnel vision, confusion,...I couldn't remember what meds I took or my sister's full name.
The last time...wow.
The last time I enjoyed these sensations I had maybe 'five grams' of cocaine in my system. Hey I didn't kid around back in the day. I did eightballs like popcorn. Man that was fun!
The only problem was sometimes you died, or almost did. I went to the border of death twice. 'Different both times, but the same aura. Dig it. I was at 'the' border of life, and death. Twice! No kidding, no bullshit.
Well it looked like I was going again monday afternoon, but thanks to the N.Y.F.D medical techs I'm good as new. Basically I have to drink more water than I'm used to. I'm a senior citizen sort of. I'm nearly 60, and the guys, and gal told me I have to be 'much more' careful about the sun, and the heat.
Gee, I thought I was, but then they had a point. I wasn't drinking anything for hours at a time, 'and' working in the sun for most of the week, and weekend,...not good.
I learned my lesson.
Lots of water, and fruit. Heck, I've got a nice bowl of peach's, plumbs, and water mellon right next to the key board. I'm all set. Summer do your worst! I'm here to stay!
Btw, added to all that. I got a memo from my latest department head giving me crap over office bullshit.
Gimme a break.
I am absolutely 'too old' for that sort of noise, and so is he.
Btw, it's my Birthday.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Well, for long time fans you already know what's up. For those of you who have just tuned in suffice to say I have issues. Nothing that big, just death, grief, loss, general dysfunction, and nothing good on tv.
Basically the same shit as everybody else.
It's just that it coming down real hard this time. You know how it can get. Anyway most folks when this hits just drink heavily, smoke alot of dope or look up old sex mates.
None of these things are options for me. So I have to hang on ride the rapids, and hope I'm still in one piece at the end.
(..eh, anybody got a few extra valium?)